I love Mexican food. And by “love,” I mean I could eat it for every meal for the rest of my life.
I am a border kid, and grew up with food full of delicious spicy meat, dripping with sauce and topped with cheese.
A lot of cheese.
I would pretty much do anything for some good Mexican food. And believe it or not, there are some excellent Mexican food places here in northern Illinois. I am extremely picky when it comes to my border food, but I have a number of places in the region that I love.
Say what you will about immigration, but I am thankful that Latinos are now common in most parts of the country. They bring a wonderful love of family, a true zest for life and greatest food in the history of man.
So, with my love of Mexican food now well established, I can imagine the hungry confusion of a man who recently drove up to a drive through window to order a burrito and ended up being arrested.
First, I am certain that he had visions of a bean-filled masterpiece that would soon be in his hand for his eating pleasure. He was already salivating at the thought of a fresh tortilla and some tangy salsa.
Burritos are the perfect eating while driving food, by the way.
But instead of tearing into a burrito, he found himself in the back of a police cruiser.
His mistake? Well, there were a couple. First, he made the absolutely bone-headed decision to get behind the wheel after he had been drinking alcohol. Drinking and driving is not only illegal, but it is dangerous and stupid. Don’t drink and drive.
His second mistake was getting so hungry for a burrito that he went to the drive through at a bank to order one.
I can only imagine how that attempted transaction sounded.
“Welcome to Acme Bank, how may I help you?”
“I wanna buuurrito with beans and lotsa cheese and some super-duper hot sauce!”
“Sir, this is a bank.”
“Oh. Well, then gimme a hundred bucks too!”
The man apparently realized his mistake, pulled into the parking lot and promptly fell asleep. I am sure he was having dreams of wonderful burritos dancing in his head when the police showed up and took him to jail.
I would guess that if he was in jail long enough to eat that there were no burritos on the menu.
I will confess that I have had some embarrassing moments in the drive-through lane myself. For example, as part of an initiation for a high school musical group, I had to walk through the drive-through at a Jack in the Box restaurant in the early morning hours on foot.
And in my underwear.
Yes, there was a young woman working the window at the time. Sadly, she had to see a bone-thin teenage boy with acne and a bad perm in his underwear shivering at the window when she opened it.
I hope she has since recovered from this undoubtedly frightening sight.
But, I am proud to say, I have never ordered a burrito at the drive-through window at a bank.
I do wonder, however, if the man in question ever did get a burrito after he got out of jail. If so, it was surely the most expensive burrito he has, or will ever eat.