Google has made me incredibly, undoubtedly, stupendously lazy. Or lazier.
Yes, lazier. I have always been lazy.
I remember when I used to look at maps – maps! What, am I on the Lewis and Clark expedition? Seriously, when is the last time you looked at a map?
I have always had a bad sense of direction, but as a pizza delivery dude in high school, I had to use maps to memorize nooks and crannies all over my hometown. Eventually, I was a wiz at figuring out where a specific address was. I could find any house, apartment, mobile home, yurt – you name it.
Now? I am convinced I could be dropped off a mile from my house and end up lost and crying on the doorstep of the house two doors down from me and not know where I was. I would be starving with ripped clothes and convinced the world was coming to an end.
I can barely make it to the end of the driveway to put out the garbage without Google Maps.
GPS has made me a moron. Grab my phone, call up and address and follow the nice lady’s voice. Very simple. Too simple.
And what about arguments? Remember when you were the smartest person in the room because of your deep pop culture knowledge? Your grasp of current events? Your love of history?
Now even your pretty dumb friends can act smart thanks to Google.
If you notice they are heading to the bathroom as you get into a deep discussion on minor characters in 1970s sitcoms, and they come out miraculously naming one of Fonzie’s early girlfriends from “Happy Days,” blame Google. There is no way your dumb friend actually knew that.
“Bartender, did you know that Pickett’s Charge at the Battle of Gettysburg involved about 15,000 Confederate troops?” If your friend who struggled in freshman history class drops a nugget like that at the bar, check the browsing history on his phone.
Song arguments are what burn me up the most. I have a pretty broad knowledge when it comes to music of a certain age, and that includes band members, songs, producers – you name it I can tell you the year the band’s one Top 40 hit came out, the label that released it and that the guitar solo you loved so much was actually played by an uncredited studio musician (I’m looking at you, Aerosmith).
But now? Any galoot with a smartphone can sound intelligent. It has taken the fun out of being a know it all, that’s for sure.
Now, People who aren’t smart suddenly think they are smart because Google holds all of the answers. It can answer any question. It can play you pretty much any song. It can give you directions to anywhere you might want to go. Google is a genius.
Google has made actually learning facts almost obsolete. If you can simply Google something, why learn it? It is like the calculator that your teacher wouldn’t let you use in your high school math class.
“You won’t always have a calculator,” she would say. “So, you have to learn how to do it yourself!”
Fast forward a little bit and every phone has a calculator. If not, you can seriously pop the equation into Google and – bam! – instant answer.
My concern isn’t that Google will make everyone smart. My concern is that it will make everyone dumb. In 50 years, I wonder if people will be able to function without electronic assistance.
Don’t laugh – you know I might be right.