There are many things I haven't done since I was a kid


The other day I was driving through a parking lot and I stopped for a mother and young daughter who were walking toward a business.

Well, the mom was walking. The girl was doing some strange, high-step looking jog. What was she doing?

And then it hit me: She was skipping. I laughed to myself. How did I not know skipping when I saw it? I used to skip. My kids used to skip. But when was the last time I skipped?

I don’t know the exact date, of course, but boys are not big skippers. I would say you were in a no-skip zone after the age of seven or so. If that is the case, the last time I ever skipped was in 1970.

OK, OK. Maybe I joke skipped a couple of times in college. But I was exhausted and there may or may not have been adult beverages involved. But I haven’t even thought about skipping for years, probably since my daughter grew up.

It does make me think about the things I did when I was a kid that I certainly don’t do anymore. And it is a surprisingly long list. Here are a few items:

* Eat bologna. I seriously can’t tell you the last time I ate bologna. When I was a kid, bologna sandwiches were a stable of my diet. I loved them. Bologna, a slice of American cheese, some Miracle Whip on white bread (Wonder Bread, thank you very much) and you were in business. When we wanted to get fancy, my brother’s and I would fry up bologna and dip it in Worcestershire sauce. I know it sounds terrible, but you are an adult. As a kid? Man, it was a delicacy.

* Listen to albums. I would sit in my room for hours on end doing nothing but listening to record albums. No phone. No social media. No video games. No TV. I would just put on a sweet slice of vinyl and listen to it. When Side 1 ended, I would flip it over to Side 2 and listen to it as well. When that album was done, I would grab another. The only activity I would engage in while listening was staring at the album cover, reading all of the information it contained. There was nothing like being that absorbed in a musical package. Now people only seem to buy individual songs, unless they just download it for free.

* Ran to the bathroom or kitchen during a commercial. The old joke is that we were the TV remote when we were kids, but those of us of a certain age know that is true. And if you were involved in a TV show and the commercial hit, you knew you only had a few minutes to do your business. That meant a sprint to the bathroom, or to the kitchen, or to let the dog out. We could get things done with surgical precision in a few minutes. Now? Just pause the TV and take your time. No wonder we are all hefty.

* Played with a Slinky. Honestly, could you spend hours these days playing with a Slinky? Probably not. But when we were kids, we would figure out all kinds of things to do with a Slinky. Many defied the laws of physics and probably all were against the manufacturer’s recommended uses.

I could go on and on, but I won’t. If I did much more, you would probably just skip them. That is the kind of skipping we do as adults.

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